A sometimes serious, sometimes tongue-in-cheek look at work, life, dieting, losing weight, getting in shape, getting bent out of shape and getting over it with a dose of humor.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Aches & Pains

I did finally get something to eat yesterday. At 4 pm. I don't know if it was because of this or because I have been running low on sleep and calories all week but I really felt yesterday's workout. All this time I was thinking, "This isn't so hard." I mean, the losing weight part, yes. But not the exercise part. I can typically do a 40 minute cardio and then run through the weight machines pretty hard for another 30 minutes and feel next to nothing. Not so yesterday. I was supposed to do 2 sets of 15 reps each. Halfway through my first set of leg extensions I was about done. The weights were higher. I have gone up 10-40 lbs on each of the machines since starting, but still. And I can still feel it today. In my arms, my back, my shoulders & legs. Reaching up to get a can from the top shelf or twisting around to tie the seat-belt. My muscles feel like lead.

It takes me back in time. To 9th grade to be exact. There were 6 or 7 of us, including one of my best friends. We were representing our school in a national championship. We still had to finish the coursework and take any final exams but other than that we were excused from all our afternoon classes for the next 6 weeks. Every day at noon we would file out in front of the envious glances of our classmates and pile into the training bus. Little did they know how little they had to be jealous of.

Little did we know!

We had to run lap after lap around the stadium. Then we would do drill. Then march. Then squats, then lunges, then jumps, then flips. Then more drill. Synchronization. March. More jumps & flips. The training went from noon to 6-7 pm in the evening. Sometimes we would go longer and it would be starting to get dark. My mom used to have to regularly shake me awake at dinner. I think I even fell asleep in a bowl of pea soup once.

I ached talking, walking, sleeping, beathing. I honestly have never known sore muscles like that except for one other time. The first time I went running.

This was some time after I had started working. My life had become increasingly sedentary and I didn't like going to the gym very much. But I was no longer lugging around a T-square and a drawing board all day, walking home 16 miles each weekend or playing tennis or swimming until dusk. I needed something to stay fit and since I was travelling all the time I needed something portable. So, one fine day in Chicago, after work, I went back to my hotel, put on my brand new running shoes and went for my first ever run. Holy cow! I still remember it. Everything hurt. I hurt in places I didn't know I had places.

That's how I feel today. And I love it!

I am sure anyone reading this post is wondering why, if I love it so much, did I ever stop. I busted my knee 4 years ago. For six months I could barely walk. It was another six months before I could even take the stairs and slowly at that. But afterwards? Yes, I could have started running then. I should have. But I had gained weight and I was embarrassed by it. I wanted to lose it first. Some logic. If I had just gone back to being active maybe I would have halted the weight gain at that point. Instead, the weight crept up, I grew increasingly more demoralized and slowly stopped even the little exercise I was doing.

According to the scale in 20/20 lounge this morning Ihave gained .2 lbs this week. I know there're some possible reasons behind this. I was sick last week which would made the weight lower. PCOS is a factor. And then there's the fact that I haven't ate or slept much this week which probably didn't help either. I should be happy I didn't gain more. But tell that to my brain. I could feel the disappointment etched in my every facial muscle as I walked out of the center.

The aches I can get over but the pain of disappointment? That's harder.

I am not giving up yet. Jacque sent me an email today asking if I wanted to do the Oct 28th 5k. I doubt I can finish one now but I want to run so badly and remember how it feels. I told her yes. Just for fun.

When I left home my mom still had the national championship outfit. It was a white tee with a tigger picture on it and some lettering (or something like that) and a pair of orange shorts. I doubt I will ever fit into them again. I was 106 lbs then. Size 0. But I think I will ask her to send them to me if she still has them. When I was very young I had rheumatic fever. I was bedridden for months. My legs had atrophied to the point f being stick thin. My bones were brittle. Doctors didn't think I would live, let alone run some day. I did it once. I can do it again.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is such an awesome post. I have a lot of weight to lose, more than you, and I too get upset when I step on the scale and find it going the wrong way. I was browsing today partly to distract myself because I was depressed and feeling that I never will. Your post just lit a fire under me! Thank you!! Awesome post!

2:16 PM

Blogger Sam said...

Anonymous, I am really glad to hear it. Part of my reason for starting this blog was to help other people see that it can be done. It's not easy but if I can do it so can anyone. Drop in sometime and let me know how you are doing.

12:28 PM


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